Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
