Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
