So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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