I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
