Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
