All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
