he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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