you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
