fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize