I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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