Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
