nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
