Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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