He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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