I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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