Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high