i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?