That's intense
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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