3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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