you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
