that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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