So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
