OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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