Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
