God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
