so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
