Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
