I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
