have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
