This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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