She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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