Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my liver is dry heaving
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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