bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
