Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
