Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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