This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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