I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
