I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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