Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
