Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
