In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
