I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize