Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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