Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Holy sore nipples Batman
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize