Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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