its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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