New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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