OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
