My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
