The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
