I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
