i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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