he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
