They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
