Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
