God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Your cock deserves a montage
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
