They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
