seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
