went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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