dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
