I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
