I like to think it a success when the cops are called
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize