we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
