Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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